Life Hacks: How to charm people in 8 easy steps

I'm fascinated by body language and mirroring* techniques, because they make it so simple to manipulate your actions so you can create quick connections with other people (and possibly become wildly popular, if you aim for that). The basic principle is that people are attracted to what they find familiar, and similar to themselves.

An example: You are at a party, and you don't know anyone there. You see a few groups of people. One group is all dressed in athletic uniforms/clothes. One group is all tattooed and pierced, sporting "Spencer's" garb. One group is dressed in mostly show tees (like theatre) and shirts with music references. There are many other groups like these, dressed in clothes typical to their interests. Who do you pick to hang out with? The group most like you, of course.

*"Mirroring" is a technique that involves subtley immitating a person in certain ways so they feel like you are "one of their kind." It's a simple, proven way to make people like you, even if they don't know why. It can be used in any social situation, from making a good first impression to connecting with someone you don't know very well or want to get to know (read: attractive guys/girls). Combining mirroring with body language that indicates openness and interest is a spectacular social weapon. I like to call it "People Snagging".

Here are a few ways to practice "People Snagging" when talking to someone:

1. Sit in the same position she is sitting in (or standing).
By doing this, you are creating a similarity between the two of you, creating a little, subconcious bond. If she changes position, wait a minute or so, then change position to match (try not to be obvious).

Nice jackets.

2. Indicate openness and interest with your body language.
Turn your palms outward, exposing the vulnerable inside of your arms/wrist. Exposing a vulnerable area indicates openness, honesty and trust. Also, lean forward slightly towards the him, as if you're hanging on to every word he says.

3. Use her "favorite" words.
If she says "totally" and "pleased" and "intense" a lot, find a way to incorporate them into your sentences. Using words that the other person frequently uses creates a subconcious similarity/bond with the other person, making them feel more connected to you.

4. Paraphrase what he said. Like this.
"I like banana splits with hot sauce."
"So you enjoy a little zip with your tropical fruits?"
It shows you're not only listening, but you're rather interested and you want him to elaborate.

5. Ask her questions about herself.
People LOVE to talk about themselves. An easy way to keep a converstaion going and make her feel affinity towards you is to ask her questions. "How do you feel about ___?" "Have you ever ___?" "What was it like when you ___?" She will feel like you really care about what she has to say and what she's been up to. MAJOR score for lady slaying (Brad, take note).

6. Know when he is losing interest, and change the subject to him.
There are many different ways he may indicate disinterest, but always remember that the body will always face the way he wants to go. If he is sitting with his knees facing the door, and his eyes are flitting towards the door, too, he wants to leave. If he has his arms crossed (indicating closedness) or is leaning away from you, he's not interested in what you have to say. Also, if he is propping up his head with his hand, he's bored. This is the time to make a quick save by asking him about himself (something he will LOVE to talk about) and thus re-capture his interest.

Turned away, arms crossed. Even if she were looking at him, it'd  be obvious she's bored.

7. Maintain eye contact.
The longer you keep eye contact, the closer two people will feel. You know how in romantic movies, the couple gaze into each other's eyes? It makes them feel closer. Holding eye contact with a person for 4-6 seconds before you look away creates a feeling of friendship and intense interest. Blinking away for a second helps break the contact so it doesn't seem to long, but return right back to the eye contact after you glance away.

8. Imitate her facial expressions.
Does she crack a little sideways Hermione smile at your joke? Crack one just like it. Does she bite her lip when she's thinking? Bite your lip when you're thinking. Again, the subconcious similarity ploy. Also, be sure to be subtle (i.e. don't copy her every expression, or copy them in an exaggerated way); she's not likely to notice, no matter how odd you feel.

Now get out there and make people like you!

Additional reading:
http://www.exforsys.com/tutorials/nlp/nlp-mirroring-and-matching-techniques.html
http://www.nlp-secrets.com/nlp-technique-mirroring.php
http://sales.about.com/od/glossaryofsalesterms/g/What-Is-Mirroring.htm
http://www.bodylanguageproject.com/getting-started/
The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allan Pease

TBT: Bop It!

“Bop it!” What? I think. Why is this thing talking to me? Is it a steering wheel? A spaceship? A tunnel system for pixies? My friend Ben grabs it from my confuzzled hands and demonstrates. “Like THIS!” he exclaims, giving a solid whack to the center.  I flinch. Why is he trying to break it? “You do what it tells you as fast as you can!” Weird. Let me try!


What the crap am I looking at?

 This weird little toy was released by Hasbro in 1996. And guess what—it’s STILL around! Wikipedia says that some studies accredit its success to its “ability to mimic social behavior”... I’m not entirely sure how hitting, flicking, and twisting an inanimate object is terribly social... Crazy scientists. 

What does "XT" stand for? X-tra tomatoes? X-cess tomagotchis?

Did you ever have a Bop It? Did you ever want a Bop It? Did you have Bop It envy? Well, I’m about to ruin your childhood right here and now, in only 6 seconds. Click. Go.

  http://tinyurl.com/kcjamesbopitmalfunction

 Do you remember Bop Its? Do you have any TBT requests? Comment below!

Blue Eyeshadow Isn't All Bad

Ah, stigmas. Here are actual quotes from actual people I actually know:

"I never use blue eyeshadow; I don't want to look like Barbie."

You should see her Zebra dress...

"When I think of blue eyeshadow, all I can see is Mimi from The Drew Carry Show."

"You four-eyed butt weasel!"

"Blue eyeshadow? Oh god-- I don't want to look like the Genie."

"How 'bout alittle more baklava-ah-ah-ah?"

Blue eyeshadow has gotten a bad rap in the world of cosmetics-- why? Because it is so extreme, it's incredibly easy to misuse. Thus, it has gotten a reputation for being the choice color of circus performers, Barbie dolls, and certain, erm, professions.

The key to wearing blue is to be conservative with it. In my "Meadow Sprite" tutorial, a brighter blue is used on less than half of the lid, and a much lighter shade is used to highlight the inner corners. In my "Summer Sunrise" tutorial, the darker sky blue doesn't extend past the browbone and the very pale blue that extends up to the eyebrow is very light and gets lighter as it goes upward, being almost just a faint shimmer once it reaches the brow. In my "Beach Surf" tutorial, the blue is used only as a liner.

Blue can be striking (in a good way) when used properly. Here are some tips for wearing blue:

1. NEVER* cover your entire lid in blue. Do you want to look like Barbie? Probably not.

2. Wear blue as eyeliner. Blue looks expecially good as a liner with blue or chocolate brown eyes (if you have green or hazel eyes, greens and golds tend to be more flattering).

3. Unless you're playing the Genie, keep anything brighter than a super-pale blue (like this one) below your browbone. I'm guessing you're not going for a Mimi look (see above).

4. Wear blue in your crease to add depth. "She's got blue eyes deep like the sea, that roll back when she's laughing at me. She rises up like the tide the moment her lips meet mine." "Sea" all that ocean imagery? The Plain White Tees know that the stuff [sea] stars are made of rolls in with the tide. (These puns are awful.)

5. Subsitute blue mascara for black. Great Lash's Royal Blue mascara (easy to find at Walmart for cheap!) dries halfway between cobalt and navy, so it's a subtle difference that adds a little more spunk to your look.

*Ammendment: dark blues (navy shades, shades labeled 'denim' or the like) can often look good covering an entire lid (if paired with a color-corresponding outfit--dark blues are extreme and need to be tied in with matching clothing items). It's sky blues and turquoisey blues like Barbie's and Mimi's that you have to watch out for. Also, if you have green or hazel eyes, some dark blues may not work for you, either. It's best to try a blue at home before you take it out in public. :>P

If you wanna see how I've used blue, check out my makeup tutorials (I can't get enough of blue eye makeup). Now get out there and show the world how blue can look cool. ;>)

TBT: View-Masters

Bear in the Big Blue House! Elmo and Big Bird at the zoo! A humoungous mountain with a dragon on top! I felt like the coolest kid in town because I could see all those things –whenever I wanted—just by pulling down a little lever. *Ka-chung!* And I didn’t even care that it looked like I had a spaceship on my face. I could see inside a fancy-freakin’-Barbie ballroom. I was pretty hip, sporting my View-Master. Can’t touch this.

I had the supah-cool oval one on the left.

I always thought of these funky devices were from the 80s/90s, but View-Masters were actually invented in 1939. Gruber-Sawyer Film, Inc. created the first View-Masters with photos of tourist attractions and travel views. View-Masters didn’t start having kid-geared views until 1966, and then they took off in the toy industry, peaking in popularity in the 80s. The plants were closed in 2001 when investigators found the toxic chemical trichloroethylene present; a chemical that when exposed to, can make a person feel/act severely drunk or even have heart arrythmias. Nice. Then the plants were re-opened in 2008, but the toys had lost much popularity.

View-Master tips:
*Aim your View-Master towards a light source. Your views will be more vibrant and easier to see.

*Pretend you're a voyeur. "I'm spying on you, Big Bird. I know what you did last summer..."

*Replace the pictures in the reels with slides of your crush/stalking victim. "I'm watching you, Wasowski-- always watching..."

*Fill the reels with angry messages and leave View-Master and reel on the doorstep of your enemy. "John Smith, don't you DARE touch my cat again, or you'll awake one morning as a giant cockroach."

*Fill the reels with pictures of your enemy (or crush, either works) doing their daily routine (sleeping, getting dressed, making breakfast, etc.) and leave View-Master and reel on their doorstep with either a frightening or a lovey note. "I spent $300 on a pair of binoculars because I (love/hate) you."

Did you ever have View-Master? Want one? Any TBT suggestions? Comment below!

Life Hacks: Guitar Picks

Has THIS ever happened to you?

Jam sesh? Hellz yes! *digs in pocket* $%&@! I could've sworn I had a pick a minute ago! *looks sheepish* Anyone have a classical guitar? *strum strum*

Or maybe THIS?

I'm playing gee-tar in the caaaaarrr (or on the couch)... $%&@ WHO INVENTED CRACKS BETWEEN THE SEATS?!

Or perhaps THIS?

Mushroom... MUSHROOM... *looks angrily at cat* Spit. Out. My. Pick.       Now.

Then YOU need to make your own picks! Pronto! Aaaaand if you're like me and drool over the $25 guitar pick punch from ThinkGeek but can't bear to fork over that much for a glorified paper hole-puncher (that looks weirdly like a stapler, I may add), look no further-- here's the answer. And the answer is...

You can cut through credit cards and gift cards with ordinary scissors. Kid scissors, even. Observe.

 

 

 

 

 

Et voila! You, my dear friend, have got yourself an endless supply of guitar picks. *bows deeply* ;>P